I’ve
been learning a lot about obedience and worship this summer. It’s been a remarkable journey.
This wrestling with God has been going on for quite some time.
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There’s
been an area of my life that I have been stiff arming God. I’ve surrendered so many other
areas of my life, it's been easy to rationalize keeping this one to myself.
But there’s this thing about surrender . . .
it’s not really surrender unless it’s complete.
If only half of an army’s troops surrenders in battle, is it really a surrender?
If only half of an army’s troops surrenders in battle, is it really a surrender?
This wrestling with God has been going on for quite some time.
God
patiently asking and me . . . defiantly
refusing.
I’ve been miserable, tormented and harassed by
my own thoughts. I’ve rationalized,
justified and defended my stance. And
where has it got me? Stalled out. Ineffective.
Unproductive.
Finally,
late this spring . . . I dropped to my knees and waved the white flag of
surrender. Feeling like I was stepping
into a place of bondage but knowing I couldn’t live like this any longer.
And what
a surprise God had waiting for me in the letting go!
My
object of surrender was with eating better and exercising.
As I released
the grip and began to ask God what it would look like for me to exercise, I came to the conclusion that running was the
best option for me. Can I just say, I
HATE RUNNING! But I was ALL IN and I
wasn’t looking back.
I bought
an app for my phone which helps an individual work up to running a 3K and so began
my journey . . . The app had me running
for two minutes straight – something I never thought I could do. I got winded just running to the mailbox and
back but remember, I was all in, so I thought I would give it a try.
I ran my
first two minutes and made it! Never
thought I could but the surprises weren’t over yet. The plan had me running two minutes and
walking three minutes, four times over.
While I was running the first two minutes, I thought . . . I’ll never be
able to run two more minutes. But I
walked for three minutes, caught my breath and started again. It was on my third two minute run that it
happened . . .
Every step
- excruciating, each breath – agonizing. I knew I wasn’t going to make it. I
cried out to God, “Lord, You’ve got to help me.
Give me strength for each step.
Because I’m doing this for You . . .”
I’m
doing this for You! It echoed in my
head. I’m doing this for You.
I’m
being obedient and in my obedience I’m worshipping You. My running is worship!
That was
a new concept. I’d never thought that my
actual running could be worship. Previously
my thinking had gone kind of like this: I worship God by listening to music or praying
while I run. It never dawned on me,
until that moment that my obedience was worship! My running was worship!
It
changed everything for me. I’m not
running to lose weight. I’m not running
to look better or feel healthier. I’m
running to worship my God. To bring
glory and honor to Him through my obedience.
Clarifying. Purposeful. Satisfying.
What
about you? Is there an area in your life
where you’re stiff arming God?
For me
it was exercise and eating right but maybe for you it’s the things you’re
allowing to fill your mind. Or maybe you’re
refusing to forgive someone. Or you’re holding
tightly to material things. Whatever it
is, I challenge you to surrender it to God.
Pry your fingers off and let go!
2
Kings 17:36-38 (NLT) says, “But worship
only the Lord, who brought you
out of Egypt with great strength and a powerful arm. Bow down to him alone, and offer sacrifices only to him. Be careful at all times to obey the decrees, regulations,
instructions, and commands that he wrote for you.”
God
doesn’t want your worship without obedience. They go hand in hand – you can’t
have one without the other.
(Note: This weekend I will be running my first ever 5K race and I'm now running thirty minutes straight - it's a miracle! Truly a miracle – only by God’s grace am I
able to do this. God is good. May He receive all the glory and honor and
praise.)
Love this, Kris! A new thought that obedience is actually worship and that they have to go together!!! Got to spend a little more time thinking about that (and applyingit).
ReplyDeleteThanks mom! You've been a great example to follow.
DeleteForgot to say that I am so, so proud of you. Wow, 5 K. Amazing!
ReplyDeleteWhat Betty said--in both comments!
ReplyDelete