Sunday, January 16, 2011

Jesus Paid It ALL

 Jesus Paid it ALL
 All to Him I owe
Sin had left a Crimson Stain
He washed it white as snow

We sang that old hymn this morning at church.  If I’m going to be honest, I wanted to sit down and bawl my head off.  Maybe it is just PMS but I don’t think so . . .

I grew up in a Christian home; in fact my parents were missionaries in the frozen tundra of Alaska.  I was the oldest in my family and a people pleaser.  I never did drugs, never drank before I was 21 and basically kept my parents from feeling like they weren’t terrible at their job.  I never really saw my true depravity and that lead to a pretty arrogant and superior young woman.

Every once in a while, I would realize I wasn’t perfect.  Like the time I tripped and fell down a whole set of stairs after an older gentlemen had praised me for my “maturity”.  But it really wasn’t until I began to have children of my own that I began to see myself for who I really was.  My children brought out this monster in me that I never knew existed!

I began to see that I truly did need a Savior and that my heart was dark and evil, and wanted to go its own way.  I was in desperate need of a Redeemer.

This terrible place of seeing how depraved I was as a mother was the moment of change for me.  God began to show me that I was just as much in need of a Savior as anybody else, that my sin was just as evil and destructive as the next person.  He slowly softened my heart and I became less judgmental.  (How can you judge when you know in the deepest darkest place in your heart it’s just like theirs or even worse. . .?) Evil is evil, sin is sin and it all turns us away from God. 

So remember:
                Jesus paid it ALL –
I did nothing to save myself
                All to Him I owe –
I owe Him everything!
              Sin had left a Crimson Stain
The stain on my heart I could not in my own strength make clean
                He Washed it White as Snow! -
                                God did EVERYTHING

What can you say to that?  In the words of another hymn, Oh Sacred Head Now Wounded

                What language shall I borrow?
                To Thank Thee dearest friend
                For this Thy dying sorrow
                Thy pity without end

                Oh, make me Thine forever
                And should I fainting be
                Lord, let me never, never
                Outlive my love for Thee


  1. Great to read your blog! I miss those deep conversations we used to try to have, in the midst of kids running around and creating havoc! Can't say that I miss the continual havoc though. it's nice to have it in small doses and send it back home.

  2. Hey, I can totally relate to this. Thanks for sharing.
    I just started one too! Cool coincidence!?