Saturday, May 4, 2013

The Problem with Expectations

When my husband and I got married I had HUGE expectations about how he would express his love for me. 

I stepped into marriage expecting that he would make the bed every day, bring me a perfectly made cup of tea each morning, and vacuum the floor all the while  encouraging me to put my feet up and rest.  That's how I thought my husband would show his love for me.

To be completely truthful, I think I expected him to know my needs before I even knew them.  I wouldn’t have admitted that but I had HIGH expectations of married life based on my own fantasies and the fairytales I had read.

I’m sure you can see where this is going.  It made for the perfect storm . . .  because of course, that wasn’t my reality.  When my husband didn’t come through the way I thought he should than I became disillusioned, disappointed and questioned if he really loved me at all. 

My expectations kept me from seeing how my husband really was loving me. 

I didn’t see that when he filled up my car with gas in the frigid cold, he was showing me love.  He knew this California girl would have a hard time standing out there.  I just assumed my car never ran out of gas.  
I didn’t see that the sacrifice he made by going to a job he hated day in and day out was his way of saying, “I love you.”

I was so focused on the ways he “wasn’t loving” me that I couldn’t see the ways in which he was.

I admit, I have done the same thing with God. 

I have expectations of God.  I pray and expect him to answer in the way I think it should be answered and then am so focused on how he ISN’T ANSWERING my prayer that I miss the way in which He is. 

It's gone something like this . . . "God I've been praying that you would make yourself known to me, that I would see You.  I need to know that You are real and working in my life.  I feel so distant from You and even further away since I prayed this prayer.   I had a friend call me, out of the blue to see how I was doing and to pray over me but where were You? Why aren't You answering me?"   

Never realizing that it was God who moved in my friend's heart to call me and to pray over me, I missed the way God was loving me and answering my prayer.

Ephesians 5.1-2 says, Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. 

As Your child, I accept Your love for me, in the way You CHOOSE to show it and to LET GO of the expectations that hinder me from seeing Your amazing work in my life.


1 comment:

  1. So, so true. Will be repeating your final prayer several times today.