substitute god

They say that there are two different kinds of people in the world - those who eat to live and those who live to eat.  I confess I am of the latter persuasion!

I love food.  I love to think about food, to cook food and to plan special occasions around food.  I don't eat emotionally or to salve a deep dark problem in my life.  I eat, plain and simple; because it gives me great pleasure - at least for a little while and then it's time to eat again.  What I've noticed is that the more I eat the less I'm satisfied and that in order to be satisfied I have to eat more and more.

I've known this to be a problem for most of my life.  And to be perfectly honest it's an area that I have not wanted to relinquish.  I mean seriously, I have given over to God so many things in my life - submission to my husband, my children, my possessions, etc. that I have wanted to hang on to this one area in my life.  My rationalization went like this - this is a physical issue, not a spiritual one so I'll just handle it on my own, I don't need to bring God into this, He's got so many more significant issues to deal with, I'm sure He doesn't have time for this petty little problem.

So on my own, I have tried all kinds of methods to control this issue in my life.  I've tried dieting (from cabbage soup diet to Weight Watchers), reading books, prayer (I've even resorted to begging God to "heal" me).  But each one has fallen short.  Some of them worked for a while - I even lost 30 pounds with one of the diets but eventually all the weight came back and more and I was worse off than before.

Every time I would diet, there was a sense that I was not getting at the root of my issue.  It was such a battle to deny myself.  I felt hungry all the time and then eventually I would get worn down and give up in defeat.

Just recently I started doing a Bible study on Overeating and for the first tiime I'm allowing God to get at the heart of this issue and let me tell you it has been humbling and freeing!

I have come to acknowledge that I have a substitute god in my life.  (It pains me to say it but it's true.)  God has created each one of us with this inner desire to be filled by Him but we often choose to allow other things to fill that hole in our life and that was exactly what I was doing.  I was allowing food to fill me rather than God and that's why I have been so dissatisfied and have needed more and more to keep me happy.

You see substitute gods TAKE, TAKE, TAKE.   They take your time, your energy, your thoughts, your money, your focus, your purpose . . . If they give it's only temporary and then it leaves you needing and wanting more and more and more.  That's what this god was doing in my life.  I was bowing down to the god of pleasure, worshiping and accepting it as lord in my life.

Through the study of God's Word, He has shown me that I need His sorrow for my sin and His repentance.  I now know that this area of my life is sin.  Before I called this problem in my life everthing but sin and by not confessing and relinquishing this area in my life I have experienced frustration, anger and defeat.

Joel 2.12-13 says,  That is why the Lord says, "Turn to me now, while there is time.  Give me your hearts.  Come with fasting, weeping and mourning.  Don't tear your clothing in your grief, but tear your hearts instead."  Return to the Lord your God, for He is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.  He is eager to relent and not punish.

Repentance is good but hard!  And praise God that He loves us inspite of our failures, inspite of choosing a substitute god over Him!  And each day I'm experiencing His amazing grace as I continue to give this issue in my life back to Him and accept His forgiveness.

I cannot end this article without asking you . . . Do you have a substitute god in your life?  Are you bowing down to the god of Pride?  Pleasure?  Self-righteousness?  Is there an area in your life that you have been unwilling to relinquish and submit to God?

I'm here to tell you, it's not worth it!  Sin only brings shame, sorrow, frustration and guilt but God is ready and waiting to release you from the bonds of your sin and to set you free!  There is so much joy and freedom and He is patiently waiting.

Romans 2.4 says, Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you?  Does this mean nothing to you?  Can't you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from sin?

So trade in that substitute god for the REAL ONE - it'll be the best decision you've ever made!

Chosen Love

I heard the heartache in my best friend’s voice, “We had to hospitalize our son last night.  He was threatening violence.”  I could feel the pain and anguish through the phone lines and my heart went out to her.

My dearest friend is living day in and day out with an incredibly difficult situation.  Times without number she has felt that God has asked her to handle situations that are beyond what she can bear.  And yet, every time I see God’s grace exhibited in her life and in the life of her son.

Seven years ago, she and her husband chose to love a young boy that was not their own.  They welcomed him into their family and he became theirs.  He immediately had all the privileges of a son – love, care, family vacations, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles and cousins, wealth and most of all he was able to learn about God and His love for him.

 

(Isn’t that what God did for us!  He chose us to be His own children and welcomed us into the family with all the rights as an heir.  We hold the same privileges as His Son, Jesus. “But when the right time came, God sent His Son . . . God sent Him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that He could adopt us as his very own children . . . Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child.  And since you are His child, everything He has belongs to you.”  Galatians 4:4-5, 7)

This journey has not been easy, in fact I know she would say that it is, hands down, the hardest thing she has ever done or will do.  And there is no guarantee of the future.

You see, their little boy, even though he has been given this amazing gift of love, cannot accept it.  His past and the things that happened to him before he came to live with them have scarred his life and are holding him captive.  He is unable to embrace this love, to bask in its warmth and to allow its light to shine in his life.  He has built a fortress around his heart and to let that love in is too frightening and threatening for him.  He wants the love and is drawn to it but then pulls away because it threatens to break down his defenses.

As I watch this gifted and talented young boy run from true, unfailing, unconditional love, I cannot help but see myself reflected in him.  I do this very thing with God.  I am His chosen child and I want His love, in fact I’m drawn to it like a moth to a flame but then I find myself pulling away because His love exposes my innermost being and I don’t like what I see. . .  Why is it so hard to receive pure and undefiled love?  Why does my heart do this yo-yo dance with God?  Why do I allow fear to keep me from completely enjoying and reveling in God’s incredible love? . . . . .

And then I think of my friend and her incredible love for her son.  She has given everything for him.  She loves him unconditionally and no matter how she is treated by him, she continues to give of herself, to endure through the pain and to love unconditionally.

She is my hero!  She is the strongest person I know and she demonstrates God’s great love and incredible patience with him every day 24-7, 365 days a year!  In her weakness I see her strength in God grow and in her brokenness and pain I have seen God bring her unspeakable joy. 

And as I see myself reflected in her son, I see God reflected in her. . . His grace that I did nothing to deserve, His patience when I am obnoxious and hurtful, His love when I am unlovely, His gentle touch when I am hurting and in pain.  That’s how my friend loves her son and that’s how God loves me!

                How great the Father’s love for us

                How vast beyond all measure

                That He should give His only son

                To make a wretch His treasure!

Enjoy the Ride!

In college, I took a camping class for a semester and one of the requirements for the class was a weekend backpacking trip in Northern Michigan. 

We were told that we would do some rafting, as well as climb a tree a 100 feet up and then zip line across the river.  We were also told  that everyone was required to go across the zip line and that if we took too long we would be pushed  off the branch!

Our guide had brought along his 9 year old son and when it came time for him to climb up the tree he made it about half-way up and then began to have a meltdown.  He refused to budge, he was stuck. 

I watched as his father (our rough, tough, “push you off the branch” guide) climbed up the tree to his son.  He talked with him for quite a while before he began to help him step by step climb down to the bottom of the tree.

I remember being quite surprised that he had helped him climb down rather than making him climb up to the top where the zip line was.  I thought, “Wow, this should be interesting to see what he does!  We all have to go across the river.  So how is that gonna happen?”

Our guide proceeded to put his son on his shoulders and carry him across the river.  The river was quite full from the melted snow and was running at a good clip.  We held our breath as he slipped on the rocks and worked against the current to carry his son across.  What I will never forget was the sight of that boy on his daddy’s shoulders.  All the fear was gone from his face, he was smiling and laughing and waving at us as he rode on his father’s strong shoulders across the river.  He had not a care in the world!

As I watched that beautiful picture of a father’s great love for his son and the son’s complete and unwavering trust in his father, I thought, “God, is that the way you want me to live?  To trust You even though the river is rushing and the water is cold.  Even when my situation seems impossible and the future is daunting, do you want me to trust you like that little boy?  Do you want me climb up on your shoulders and enjoy the ride?!”

Look at how the writer of Galatians describes our relationship with God once we are His.

You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, "Abba! Father!" Doesn't that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you're also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance.                             Galatians 4:6-7 (The Message)

Do you trust your Abba Father?  Are you enjoying the journey or just enduring?  Do you find yourself running away or refusing to budge?  Or are you just barely staying afloat?

Your Abba Father stands ready and waiting.  Climb up on His shoulders and let Him carry you in whatever “river” you are wading through and most of all enjoy the ride! Because you have nothing to fear when you are on the shoulders of the One who willingly sacrificed His most treasured possession for you!

Blessed be the Lord, who bears our burdens and carries us day by day, even the God who is our salvation! Selah!                                                                         Psalm 68:19 (Amplified Bible)

Firmly Fixed

She shall not be afraid of evil tidings; her heart is firmly fixed, trusting (leaning on and being confident) in the Lord.                     Psalm 112:7 (Amplified Bible)

What does it mean for my heart to be “firmly fixed”?

I confess I have a tendency for fickleness.  I go one way and then another.  I try one thing and if that doesn’t work immediately have to try something else.

http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1031657

My heart has a tendency to live by its feelings.   I hear a scary news broadcast and I immediately begin to worry about the future.  I don’t see God answering my prayers the way I think He should and then doubt that He is Good.   I have a difficult conversation with my husband and immediately go to the long laundry list of things he’s done wrong over the years.  I begin my day with God but then don’t give Him another thought.  I see a beautiful jacket at the store and impulsively buy it even though we don’t have the money.

Why do I live by my feelings?  Why is my heart not “firmly fixed” on God alone?  I want to live that way but find my heart to be capricious.

Could it be that I don’t really trust God like I say I do?  That I’ve taken my eyes off of what is true and put it on my feelings?

In Lamentations 3 the prophet Jeremiah does the same thing.  He’s angry with God.  Listen to what he says in the first part of this chapter.

I am the one who has seen the afflictions
      that come from the rod of the Lord’s anger.
 He has led me into darkness,
      shutting out all light.
 He has turned his hand against me
      again and again, all day long. . .

He has walled me in, and I cannot escape.
      He has bound me in heavy chains.
 And though I cry and shout,
      he has shut out my prayers.
   He has blocked my way with a high stone wall;
      he has made my road crooked. . .

He has made me chew on gravel.
      He has rolled me in the dust.
 Peace has been stripped away,
      and I have forgotten what prosperity is.
 I cry out, “My splendor is gone!
      Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!”

Jeremiah goes on for 20 verses this way, wallowing in his bitterness and pain.  His thoughts are spinning around in his head and are sending him spiraling downward into a pit of self-pity.

Ever been there?

But in verse 21 things change.  It’s as if a light shines out from the words on the page, cutting through the darkness.  Listen to what he says.

Yet I still dare to hope
      when I remember this:

He stops the spiral downwards and chooses to remember . . .

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
      His mercies never cease.
 Great is his faithfulness;
      his mercies begin afresh each morning.
 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
      therefore, I will hope in him!”

The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
      to those who search for him.
 So it is good to wait quietly
      for salvation from the Lord.

What is Jeremiah doing here?  He is choosing to take his eyes off his feelings and circumstances and to put it on the TRUTH.  The truth that in spite of the way he feels God IS Good, His love never ends and His mercies are new each day.

I don’t know where you’re at, if you are struggling in the pit of despair, or if you’re living every day with a seemingly impossible situation.  Whatever it is, God’s desire for you is that you trust Him and that your heart is firmly fixed on Him.  He wants you to know that His love never ends and His mercies never cease.  Rest in that today, my friend, give Him your anxious thoughts, your fears, your anger and your bitterness.  He’s big enough to handle it and then fix your eyes on Him.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of this earth with grow strangely dim

In the Light of His glory and grace.

                                                                          (Helen H. Lemmel)

The Kitchen Aid Mixer

Soon after we were married, I developed a burning desire to have a Kitchen Aid Mixer.  I loved making homemade bread and cinnamon rolls but hated kneading the dough and just knew that a Kitchen Aid Mixer was the answer to all my problems!

Unfortunately, my husband didn’t share that same conviction.  (At least I didn’t think so and they were pretty expensive for our one salary income.)  So as the years went by with no mixer in sight my burning desire became a blazing inferno.

I love my husband dearly but God bless him, he wasn’t very good with follow through in those first years of our married life.  He started many projects in our house but it was a long time before any were finished.

During this time a young couple moved in next door.  Our houses were extremely close and I could look through my kitchen window right into their dining room and on into their kitchen.

They were a really nice couple and we began to develop a friendship.  They weren’t married at the time they moved in and began fixing up their house.  About a year later they got married and then a little time after that she became pregnant.  In one of our conversations she told me that she was really excited because they only had one room left to finish in their house.  And I thought, “Wow, I’d just like to have one room done!”

I went back to my house angry with God.  They were not following the “rules” and look how they are being blessed.  And here we were, Harold and I, following the “rules” and look where it got us – nowhere!  (Could I be any more self-righteous?!)

The final straw came one day when I was happily cooking away in my kitchen and looked into their dining room and on into their kitchen . . .   What was that sitting on her kitchen counter?  Was that

a . . .?  No it couldn’t be?!!!  It was a KITCHEN AID MIXER!   And right then and there (I’m sorry to say) standing in my kitchen I through a full blown hissy fit!

“Why did she have that?  She never cooks!  She’s too busy working; she doesn’t have time to use a kitchen aid mixer!  I could go over there and “borrow” her mixer and just never give it back and I bet she would never even miss it.”

A few days later I went over to her house and she told me that she was going to have to work full-time and that she needed daycare for her child.  I felt God whisper, “So Kristi, are you willing to give up the privilege of being with your children for a Kitchen Aid mixer?” 

Well, when you put it like that I guess a Kitchen Aid Mixer isn’t all that vital to my happiness. . .

The more important thing that I needed to look at was what was I really saying about God?  God you’re not good enough.  You aren’t big enough, strong enough or great enough for me.

Proverbs 14:30 says, “A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones”.

That’s what jealousy was for me a cancer eating away at the happiness and joy that God had desired for me.  I was choosing to settle for a Kitchen Aid Mixer when God had so much more to give me.  What about you?  Are you settling for something less?    

In the words of Stephen Curtis Chapman are you playing Gameboy standing in the middle of the Grand Canyon, are you eating candy sitting at a gourmet feast, or are you wading in a puddle when you could be swimming in the ocean?