God is in the Waiting

When Nehemiah learned that the walls of Jerusalem had not been rebuilt, he broke down and wept.  (Nehemiah 1.3-4) Even though he had never been there, his heart was broken for his people and their city.  But it didn’t stop there.  For the next four months he prayed and fasted and sought God about what he could do.

 

When was the last time you prayed and fasted over an issue, problem or person in your life for four months?   The answer for me is easy – NEVER.  I’ve rarely given a focused, concerted prayer time (much less fasting) toward any difficulty in my life more than a few days. 

 

In our hurry-up, do-it-quick, solve-the-problem-immediately world we have little time for waiting, much less prayer and fasting.

 

As I’ve studied the life of Nehemiah, my heart keeps coming back to this moment in Nehemiah’s life, where he devoted this time to God. 

 

What happens in a person’s heart that spends four months of focused, purposeful time with God?  What would happen in my life if I were to devote a good chunk of time to God? 

 

When a friend asked me if I would be interested in devoting forty days to purposeful prayer, I jumped at the chance.  Here was my opportunity to do like Nehemiah.  What would God show me?  What would he teach me?  What would He have me do? 

 

As the start of the forty days drew closer, I felt the nudge of God to consider stripping away an area in my life that has hindered me from pursuing Him.   

 

“No not that, God.  I’ll do anything else but not that!” 

 

What I knew He was asking me to do made me want to curl up in a fetal position – there was no feasible way that I could see myself doing what He asked.

 

For most people, what God was calling me to, might seem trivial but for me it has long been a stronghold in my life.  A place, I have not wanted to relinquish.  I have excused, justified and given every reason in the book why this area in my life should stay mine and not God’s.

 

BUT I long for God to do great things in and through me.  AND IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN as long as I cling to this area of my life.   I must choose to TRUST and walk the pathway of OBEDIENCE.

 

 Lord, we show our trust in you by obeying your laws;

Our heart’s desire is to glorify your name.   Isaiah 26.8

 

It is the sixth day of letting go, of purposeful, focused time with my Father and my heart is so full.  I’m searching for God in the quiet moments, in the busy-ness of my day, in the morning when I wake up and in the evening when I close my eyes in sleep.

 

All night long I search for you;
in the morning I earnestly seek for God.   Isaiah 26.9
 

 Could God be calling you, my friend, to relinquish an area of your life that is holding you back from being all that He wants you to be?  Will you join with me?
 

I’m WAITING . . . eyes wide open, for what He will do!  Are you?

 

Brokenness

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“Oh, no Mama!  A bwoken moon!”  My three year old son exclaimed from the backseat of our car. 

I smiled and stifled the giggle that rose up inside me.  “Oh son, the moon’s not broken, we just can’t see the whole thing right now.  But you wait, in a few more days it will be all round again.”

This was one of those moments that I have treasured in my heart.  That little boy is all grown up now and I miss the simple truth that comes out of the mouths of babes.

As I pull out from my treasure trove and reminisce on this sweet memory, I find myself wondering . . .

What if . . . what we see as brokenness here on this planet, my all-wise, all-knowing Father sees as wholeness. 

From His perspective . . .

Could brokenness be the place of healing? 

Could sorrow be the cup of joy?  

Could my tears be the pathway to laughter?

Life is pain . . .  
a loved one is diagnosed with a terminal illness, a kindred spirit moves away.

And the aching of the heart . . .  
the distance of a wayward child, the longing of a mother’s heart.

And brokenness . . . 
the loss of a job, the confusion of a mental illness, a family split apart by divorce.

Is God in the pain?  Is He in the brokenness? Is He is in the aching of my heart?

Yes, Yes and Yes.  "I AM" . . .  
I hear Him whisper in the dark corner of my heart.  I hear him shout it in the midst of my pain.

When we cry out, “Look God, it’s broken!” 

He shouts, “It is FINISHED!”

But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins.  He was beaten so we could be whole.  He was whipped so we could be healed.  Isaiah 53.5

He sees the WHOLE.  He knows the Future.  He’s working His Plan.

Trust Him. 

Not your feelings.  Not your circumstances.  Not your pain.

And remember, what seems like brokenness here, will one day be wholeness in Heaven. 

It’s a promise. 

Hold on to it.  Don’t forget it.  Don’t turn away from it. 

Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory.  They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength.  1 Corinthians 15.43

A Front Row Seat

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Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.  And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.    Hebrews 10:24-26 (NLT)

 

Why does God want me to be in community with other believers?  Why can’t I just do church on my own?  People always make things so complicated and messy. 

 

Could it be that, being in community with others causes us to grow in ways we never would on our own?

 

This past year, there was a young woman in my Bible Study who slunk in with a hoodie over her head and slouched in her chair not making a single comment the whole evening until we got to prayer time.  When we did, she blurted out that she didn’t want to be there.  She wasn’t going to come but her sister had “made” her. 

 

In the weeks that followed, she stuck it out and came every time, whether she felt like it or not.  Over the course of the year, the group encouraged, challenged and supported her as she slowly surrendered her life to God. 

 

We had front row seats, as we watched God transform a life and it was breathtaking!

 

At the end of the year, she wanted to be baptized.  When we were meeting together to talk about her baptism I reminded her of the “hoodie week”.  She gasped and said, “God has changed me so much, I don’t even recognize that person anymore!”  That’s what transformation does.

 

Living in community is God’s design.  It’s what He desires for each one of us.  Community often brings joy and sorrow, beauty and pain, healing and messiness but don’t let the dark side keep you from experiencing the hope of community.  The dark and the light both serve their purpose in making us more like our Savior.

 

Lord, I confess that I am drawn to the comfortable and simple.  I don’t want complicated and difficult.  I want easy.  But that’s not Your plan, that’s mine.   Today, I choose to be in community with Your followers even if it’s messy because I know it is what you designed especially for me.  Amen. 
 

The First Step

 

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.  But I say, love your enemies!  Pray for those who persecute you!”  (Matthew 5.43-44 NLT)

 

“Lord, is there any bitterness in my life?”  I asked the question half-heartedly knowing that there wouldn’t be.  I had just worked through a seven year stretch of bitterness and felt pretty sure that there couldn’t be any more.
 

 

But there was no waiting, no hesitation for God to speak.  It was immediate and right on point, with the precision only God can do.  He laid bare with his ever loving scalpel an area of sin that had been festering in my heart for over twenty years!

 

 

Bitterness had burrowed deep into my soul.  With every wrong done to me I allowed it to tunnel deeper and deeper, until it had become a part of who I was.  I relished and justified the bitterness because  I was in the right.  

 

 

 

 "But just because you're in the right doesn't give you the okay to hold on to your bitterness."

God's gentle voice prodded.

 

“Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.” (Proverbs 14.10 NLT)

 

God’s illuminating truth revealed the corruption of my heart. 



But how do I yank this out of my life?   Where do I go?

 

“Come to ME . . . Pray for those who have wounded you, for those who have done you wrong.”

 

Prayer does the unexplainable, in the heart of the one who prays. 

 

What about you?  Have you asked God to show you the bitterness that lurks in your own heart?  Are you praying for those who have hurt you and done you wrong? 

 

Take the first step and pray . . .

 

Lord, I surrender my bitterness to You, all the those things I used to justify my bitterness because I was wronged.  I NEVER want to add another brick to my wall of bitterness.  Root out this darkness in me and teach me to come to You.  Amen.

 

 

Reckless Abandonment

http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1013334

 

When my children were growing up, I wanted them to LISTEN when I instructed them to do something and then OBEY.  Simple as that.  But it never was simple.  It seemed there was always an excuse . . .

 “I didn’t hear you.”  I forgot.” “I’m going to do it, I just haven’t had time.”  “I’ll get to it soon . . ."

As I write these words, I feel them echo deep in the halls of time in my own life as I’ve responded to my Heavenly Father’s promptings and commands.  How slow I’ve been to respond and how quick to give an excuse.  I dawdle and procrastinate, question if it was really from God or just my vain imagination and generally fail to do what God is calling me to.

This summer I decided I was done arguing, procrastinating and questioning.  When I sensed God prompting, I was just going to plain DO it.  No hemming and hawing, no dillydallying just plain old-fashioned obedience.  It’s been an amazing, crazy, and life-altering ride!

I’ve done things I’ve never dreamed I would do and I’ve loved every moment.  I’ve given a fifty dollar tip to a stressed waitress.  I’ve begun walking around our church building at all times of the day and night praying out loud with a passion and a purpose.  I’ve stood up in a service when those around me stayed sitting, so completely moved by a song of worship that I couldn’t stay seated any longer.   And just last night, while at a worship service, I felt God calling me to take off my shoes because I was standing on holy ground – so I did!

Why have I wasted so much TIME, so much ADVENTURE, and so much LIVING, debating whether my promptings are really from God or not?  Seriously, would my sinful self tell me to give up fifty dollars of my hard earned cash to a complete stranger?  Would my natural desire be to embarrass myself and do something that no one else is doing?

 

That would be a big NO.  So why do I question and wonder if it’s really God calling me? 

If I want to face the truth it’s not really because I wonder if these promptings are from God or myself, it’s really about whether I want to obey or not.

I have allowed doubt and fear to keep me from living an all-out reckless abandoned life for God. BUT I refuse to live that way anymore!  I'm done with safe, boring, predictable.  I want more!

I’m listening with heart wide-open, waiting expectantly, responding immediately.  The next adventure is just around the corner and I can’t wait!

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are a listener when you are anything but, letting the Word go in one ear and out the other.  Act on what you hear! 

                                                                                           (James 1.22 MSG)